Were you ever confronted by a bully in school? Have your children ever come home from school crying because of the taunting they received at the hands of a bully? I’ve had experience with both. When I was in school, a bully slugged me in the face. I got over being hit pretty quick, but I found the verbal abuse much more hurtful and lasting. I was absolutely heartbroken when my 6-year-old son was being picked on. I found myself confronting the bully’s father on the soccer field. Thankfully, the father was completely understanding and the boys became good friends.

Unfortunately, bullying is not confined to the schoolyard. It is a problem in the workplace as well. Finally, people are starting to talk about it, understand it and do something about it.

When I was confronted by bullies in the workplace, I started to believe that I was the problem. It was different from my experiences in the schoolyard—it seems bullies have become more sophisticated with age. They no longer punch someone because they understand it could get them in trouble. Now, bullies more often than not use psychological methods of attack.

Bullying encompasses a broad range of abusive conduct: false accusations of mistakes, yelling and screaming, exclusion, the silent treatment, withholding information, behind the back sabotage and defamation.

When I was being bullied, I came to believe that I could do nothing right. Unbeknownst to me, my work was being sabotaged. And, whenever I failed, the bully was always there to point it out to others. I also endured verbal intimidation (always in front of others), as well as the silent treatment. Frankly, after a while I was happy to get the silent treatment because I didn’t have to deal with the person.

But dealing with this kind of treatment can take its toll not only on your work life, but your personal life as well. I had trouble sleeping, was cranky and depressed, and thought I was losing my mind. Throughout this ordeal, I didn’t want to go to work. I was afraid to seek help because I thought no one would believe me and that I would be seen as the problem.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this type of behavior, and I’m not looking for a “poor John” response. What I do hope to accomplish is to raise some awareness about the problem.

There are ways to handle it. First, you must continue to do the best job possible because bullies are hoping to prove you’re incompetent. I kept a diary of what transpired: dates, times, what was said, who said it and witnesses, if any. At the very least, I was able to determine two things:

1) I was not the total problem, and 2) I was able to show how I was trying to do my job despite the roadblocks put in my way.

If this is happening to you, I encourage you to seek help. Your UUP chapter is a great place to start. Chapters have UUP/NYSUT labor relations specialists to conduct workshops on this subject and are making their members aware of this issue. Chapter leaders are also working with management to get their commitment that this type of behavior will not be tolerated in the workplace.